


To Hell and Back

by InkyWandmaker



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Bisexual Clarus, Canonical Character Death(s), F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Regis, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 06:50:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11179335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkyWandmaker/pseuds/InkyWandmaker
Summary: Prince Regis and his sworn shield Clarus Amicitia have been best friends for years and somewhere along the line, Regis had developed feelings for the other. Clarus, however, did not seem to return these feelings and Regis had buried them away, unable to jeopardize his friendship with his bodyguard because of a crush.But it wasn't just a crush.Somewhere along the long, dangerous, confusing road Regis had fallen in love with his best friend and there is nothing he can do to stop it.





	To Hell and Back

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RedHawkeRevolver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedHawkeRevolver/gifts).



> So this has been a long time coming. I'm sorry it took so long to get it up here- I've been out of town a lot recently- but here it is! 
> 
> A special shoutout to RedHawkeRevolver for showing so much interest in this- without you I'd have never written it.
> 
> As always my work is unbeta'd and I rarely proofread (because I'm lazy and hypercritical of my work so if I did I'd never post anything) so reader be warned. 
> 
> Without further ado, enjoy.~

Regis straightened up, stretching upwards and cracking his back with a groan. It had been a long day and the idea of sleeping on the ground was simply unexceptable. All of them were sore, cranky, and in desperate need of a bath.

The prince glanced over, watching as Weskham slid a pile of Gil over the counter, securing two rooms for the night as promised. Clarus stood beside him, his shoulder length brown hair pulled back in a low ponytail. Regis ached to room with them that night, to put off the conversation a while longer and play blackjack with his two oldest friends surrounded by tobacco smoke and good food but he knew he couldn't.

As it was, he had waited too long already.

Regis exhaled slowly, carding his bangs back off of his face and turning to look at the man he needed to talk to, green eyes weary.

Cid Sopher was bent over the car, fiddling with the engine and muttering darkly while Cor held a flashlight above the mechanic's head, doing his best to stay out of the way. Regis grimaced, if Cid was in a bad mood then the conversation was even less likely to be well received but it was now or never; King Mors had made the decision and Regis' duty was to obey.

Weskham walked over, his eyes betraying just how exhausted he really was, and tossed a bronze key with a peeling number 6 to his prince. "Your key, Reggie. I assume you're rooming with Cid tonight then?" Regis nodded, his face sober and Weskham, ever the perceptive man, nodded in understanding. "I see...then I will be sure to let Cor know that he will be with Clarus and I tonight."

"Thanks Wes, I owe you one."

The steward grinned, "I'll just put it on your tab."

Regis watched as his butler placed a hand on Cor's shoulder, the youngest member of their party turning and listening to what the other had to say, nodding in agreement to the proposition when the man had finished speaking.

Regis watched as Weskham walked back to the motel, twirling the key around his finger lazily and whistling a particularly catchy tune they had heard on the radio earlier. Clarus joined him, slipping his phone back into his pocket and falling into step, anxious to take a hot shower. The prince waited until Cid told Cor to get lost, the younger scrambling away to get a shower in before the other two took all the hot water. It was only once everyone else had disappeared inside and it was just Regis, Cid, and the stars either of them spoke.

"Alright, what did you want to talk about?" Cid was crankier than usual, slamming the hood of the car down and turning toward Regis, arms crossed over his chest defensively. Regis sighed, running a hand through his hair again.

"I got a call from my dad today..."

"And?" Cid was impatient, his eyes narrowed in contempt.

Regis sighed, his shoulders slumping forward, "he said that he's gonna pull back the wall, give the empire Duscae, Liede, and Cleigne so he can concentrate on the Crown City."

Cid scowled, face contorting in anger, "so you're saying this whole trip, going to Accordo to negotiate peace and all that shit was for _nothing_? He's just gonna bow down and kiss their asses? _Bullshit_."

"He has no choice, he can't maintain the wall any longer and he can't fight the empire so he's retreating." 

"So? What are we gonna do about it?" Cid's voice dropped from angry to scheming, expecting a plan to counteract the king's decision; to salvage their mission of peace. Regis took a deep breath; he knew Cid would react this way and he was dreading this next part.

"There is nothing 'we' are going to do about it. The king has decided to retreat and he has demanded that we return to the Crown City immediately. We leave tomorrow."

Regis exhaled, slowly counting in his head as he waited for his lover to process the information.

3...2...1...

"What do you mean we're not doing any thing!? Go back to the Crown City? Follow daddy's orders like a good little boy- what the fuck happened to the Regis who didn't take no shit from nobody!?"

That stung and Regis scowled, "he grew up! Cid- were loosing this war and my dad is dying, soon this will all be my problem and the fact of the matter is that we cannot defeat the empire! So yes- I'm going home and when I get there, I'm going to do my fucking job so that Lucis doesn't fall apart when my father keels over!"

"Ha! There won't be anything left of Lucis to hold together once that fucking wall goes down!" Cid sneered, his face mocking. "So what're you gonna do when there's no one left to boss around highness? Marry a hot babe? Make lots of little babies? Wear fancy clothes and give stupid speeches and sit on a throne until you get sores on your ass like your daddy? Some fucking king."

Regis almost lost his temper, almost gave in and made their fight physical but he stopped. 'Stay calm,' Clarus had told him years ago when they were training, 'you can't win any battle if you give in to anger.'

"Yes. I am. And while we're on that note, when I do take a bride this-" he gestured between them, "has got to end. As much fun as it's been, I won't cheat on my wife with anyone. It wouldn't be fair."

Cid floundered at that, his face momentarily devoid of all anger. Regis internally winced; deep down he knew that their messy, romantically ambiguous, vague friends-with-benefits type relationship had always had unequal attraction. Cid wanted something more from it, wanting a deeper, lasting relationship and Regis couldn't give it to him. 

"What do you mean?"

Regis sighed. He knew this should have been dealt with a long long time ago but he had put it off, enjoying it in the moment and not thinking of the consequences of having a one-sided relationship. "I mean that when I do take a wife, we can't sneak around and do what we've been doing anymore. It wouldn't be fair to her."

"And what about me!?" Cid shouted, tears pricking in his eyes. "What about what's fair to _me_!?"

'Do it quick Reggie,' he had told himself earlier. 'When the time comes, don't draw it out. Quick and clean, like pulling off a bandaid.'

"I'm sorry Cid, I don't think I can give you what you're looking for." Regis looked into his friend's eyes, his own eyes sad. "I shouldn't have waited so long to tell you, I should have told you from the start, but the relationship you want? The kind that lasts for the long haul? That's never gonna work for us."

"But why?" Cid's voice was pleading, so alien to the usual rough tone he used. "It doesn't have to be that way, you could still marry her and be with me- I understand, you need to have a heir and I can except that but-"

"No buts." Regis screwed up his courage, his voice intentionally harsh. "When I get married, this part of our relationship is through."

Cid stood in shock, his arms limp at his sides and eyes wide. It took exactly 12 seconds for him to process the information and turn his hurt into anger. "And what about Clarus huh!?"

Regis blinked, confused, "what about Clarus?"

"Oh please! It's so fucking obvious you have a thing for him- are you gonna cut him out of your life too!?"

Cid had hit the proverbial gold when it came to riling Regis up. The prince and his shield had been best friends for years and somewhere along the line, Regis had developed feelings for him. Clarus, however, did not seem to return his feelings and Regis had buried them away, unable to jeopardize his friendship with his bodyguard because of a crush. The feelings never went away though and it was safe to say that at 21, Regis was in love with his shield, pining after him in pained secrecy while Clarus pursued a brilliant woman who was his equal in skill, strength, and training. Regis' face contorted in anger, his fists clenching.

"This has nothing to do with Clarus, leave him out of this."

"Oh but I really think it does." Cid's voice was cold, hissed through his teeth in an anger beyond yelling. "You say you won't cheat on your future wife with me but what about the emotional affair you'd be having with the man in charge of protecting you? That's more traitorous than fucking me, don't you think?"

"It's not like that!" Regis shouted, his voice slightly panicked. "Clarus is just a friend- he'll never be anything more than that!"

"Uh-huh, keep telling yourself that Reggie. I'm sure that if you shout it loud enough it will make up for the fact that you'll always be cheating on whoever you date. It's not the sex that makes a cheater, it's the emotional attachment."

"Fuck you Cid! You are just jealous that if I had to choose between you and Clarus I'd always pick Clarus! I've seen the way you jibe at him, try to get him to snap at you so you can play the victim like the scheming fucker you are! I'm sick of it! I have a duty to my country to follow the king's orders and to get married and godsdamn it I am going to be loyal to my family! If you have a problem with it then leave!"

Cid clenched his jaw, finger coming up as if he was going to say something but no words came out. Instead, he clenched his fist and made like he was going to punch his friend but dropped it last second, body tense with anger. "Fine. You want me gone? I'm gone. Have fun sucking your own dick your _highness_."

Regis shook with anger, the key to his room clenched in his hand so tightly it was starting to make his hand bleed. Cid opened the trunk of the car, grabbing his duffle bag and slamming it closed before turning west and walking off, his boots slapping against the pavement angrily.

Regis turned away, storming into his room with a vengeance, Weskham having already taken his bags inside. The prince kicked the chair hard, the cheap wood cracking and skittering across the floor. Next, Regis found the hardest surface in the room, the tiny table between the two beds, and slammed his fist into it, bruising his knuckles and denting the laminated wood. His fist sat still, his body bent over it, black hair falling over his face and a few tears dripped down his face.

Loathe as he was to admit it, Cid was right. He loved Clarus, he loved him deeply, and it wouldn't be fair that he could never give his future wife his undivided love. He could give her his loyalty, his affection, he could even grow to love her but she would never own his heart and he hated that he couldn't help it.

He had no choice though. Clarus was engaged- Clarus was straight for Astrals sake!- and Regis had a duty.

It would have to be enough.

\---

Regis met Aulea at Clarus' wedding. He had escorted her in to the ceremony, walking down the aisle together as the maid of honor and the best man respectively. They hit it off, sitting together during the reception and toasting to the bride and groom. She saw past his title-something very few woman had been able to do- and saw Regis for the jovial, mischievous, charismatic man he was.

Aulea was beautiful and kind, a little bit on the quiet side but her midnight blue eyes spoke the words she couldn't say and Regis found himself asking her for a dance and then her number. While Clarus was on his honeymoon with his feisty bride, Regis and Aulea went on their first date, having lunch together at a beautiful little cafe by the river.

One date turned into two, then three, then six, then ten. They simply worked well together, her laid back, slightly introverted personality balancing out his more emotional, impulsive, brash self. However, Regis kept his distance, kissing her and holding her hand but never going all the way, unsure of taking their relationship further without full disclosure.

It was on the fourteenth date, a simple afternoon on his father's boat, doing what Aulea loved to do more than anything- fish- that Aulea finally managed to get Regis to talk about what's been holding him back. He stared at the waves slowly lapping against the side of the boat, his girlfriend's beautiful face watching him with those sharp eyes, patient as he formulated his answer.

"There is...someone else. I love them, deeply, but they do not return my feelings. I want to do right by you; I don't want there to be any secrets between us so I wanted to keep things casual until then."

Aulea was quiet for a long time, her wrist flicking every so often to entice a fish. "Do you love me Regis?"

The prince blinked, surprised at her response. "Yes, I do."

"And the love you have for me is comparable to the love you have for this other person?"

"It's...complicated. I love you and I love them and both of these loves are strong but in different ways."

"And you said this person doesn't return your feelings?"

Regis shook his head, "no, they don't."

Aulea sighed, giving up on fishing and turning to her boyfriend completely. "Theoretically, if this person suddenly returned your feelings after we were in a committed relationship, would you leave me for them?"

"No." Regis stared into her dark blue eyes gently, not breaking eye contact. "If I say that I'm yours then in yours. I may love the other person but while we are together I will never betray you like that, you deserve that much at least. Besides, they are in a committed relationship as well and they wouldn't leave their spouse for me either."

Understanding flickered over Aulea's face and Regis knew that Aulea knew exactly who he was talking about. He fidgeted a little and looked away, worried that now that she knew who the person he was in love with was, it would change everything. Instead, her hand gently touched his cheek, turning him back to look at her.

"If you love me and I love you, I see no reason why we can't be together. If you give me your loyalty, I'll give you my heart."

"...I can do that"

That night, they made love for the first time in the cabin of his father's boat. Her long black hair felt like silk between his fingers as he kissed down the pale column of her throat. Her body was so different from any of his previous lovers- it wasn't petite and bony like his first girlfriend's was nor was it firm and prickly like Cid's was, it was smooth and full, giving under his hands in some places and warm and flat in others. She kept kissing him, cradling his face and pulling him close to her body, murmuring sweet nothings into his ear while he fucked her, gasping and moaning and clawing her nails down his back.

When the deed was done, Regis laid partially on top of her, his arms curled around her and his head pillowed between her breasts. She ran her fingers through his hair, nails lightly scratching at his scalp and making him hum in pleasure.

The next day Regis ordered a ring to be made and on their 25th date- coincidentally the same date as their first anniversary- he proposed in the palace gardens and she said yes.

\---

The wedding was an extravagant affair, as all royal weddings were, but they were able to retain some control over how things played out. Clarus and Lilja Amicitia were the best man and maid of honor for their best friends' wedding, beaming widely and cheering when they walked down the aisle together. The joyous occasion was the last public event King Mors attended before he passed away in his sleep, the ring and wall finally claiming his life.

Regis' coronation less than a month after his wedding was a major event and the whole kingdom celebrated. All of his friends (barring Cid) were there; Weskham had returned from his travels to attend and Cor beamed with pride at being named captain of the Crownsguard- the youngest ever. It was during the after party that Lilja and Clarus announced that they were expecting, Aulea squealing with delight and Clarus being clapped in the back by his friends until his shoulder blades were bruised.

It was a few years before Aulea became pregnant herself and the night Regis found out he was going to be a father stuck in his mind forever.

He had been reading in their bed, his wife brushing her teeth in their bathroom and when she had exited she was grinning widely, her hair pulled back in a loose bun and her body wrapped in her Star patterned bathrobe.

"Regis, come here for a second."

The king set aside his book, getting out of bed with hesitant curiosity, amused at his wife's excitement- she was literally bouncing on her toes. "Yes dear?"

Aulea thrust a small plastic stick at him, his green eyes crossing in an attempt to see what it was. On the tiny screen the word 'pregnant' was visible and it was at the same time he registered it that his wife squealed, her voice higher than usual. "We're going to have baby!"

Regis promptly swooped her into a hug, lifting her off her feet and spinning her around with a laugh. "That's wonderful! How far along are you?"

"Not very, a month at the very most- probably less- but still! We're going to be parents!"

Regis set Aulea down, pressing his forehead to hers and beaming, "I can't wait."

When Aulea gave birth, Regis was a nervous wreck, chewing his thumb nail down to a pathetic nub and pacing like crazy. Clarus had laughed at him, wondering aloud if he had looked this stupid when Gladio was born. Regis flipped him off.

When he was finally allowed in to see his wife, he was officially a father.

"He's perfect," he proclaimed, sitting down on the bed and gazing down at the tiny infant nestled in his wife's arms. Gently, Aulea handed him over and Regis carefully cradled him in his arms- like Clarus had showed him how to do when he was introduced to Gladio. Noctis squirmed slightly, squinting up at him with dark blue eyes, his dark hair an unruly mess atop his head. Regis suddenly felt overwhelmed; how could someone so tiny become the most important thing in his life in less than a second. He would do anything to protect this boy, he would die for this child without a second thought- to hell with the wall and war and gods. Aulea smiled at them, exhausted and giddy. She knew exactly how he felt because she felt the same way.

Several days after the birth of his son, there was a celebration throughout the kingdom and the royal family made their appearances with a tiny Noctis in their arms surrounded by their bodyguards and best friends Clarus and Lilja. Before hand, Regis and Aulea had arranged a private introduction for their best friends, the Amicitias meeting the boy their son would one day protect.

"He's so precious- aw look at those eyes! Just like his mama..." Lilja straightened up over the bassinet and looked over at her husband, her face set in determination. "Clarus, I want another one."

Regis laughed, his voice echoing around the room and he clapped his speechless friend on the back. "Well, you better get busy man! Lilja's making that face."

"What face?" Lilja huffed, hands on her hips in indignation to the amusement of everyone present. Aulea placed a soothing hand on her friend's back.

"I think they are referring to the face you make when you want something and won't take no for an answer Lil."

"What can I say!? I'm a woman who knows what she wants and will work to get it!" Another chorus of laughter erupted between the friends, disturbing Noctis' nap. Regis scooped up his newborn son before he started to fuss, caressing his face to calm him down.

"But in all seriousness, congratulations." Clarus rested a hand on his king's shoulder with a smile and Regis felt warm and tingly, flashing his friend a smile that wasn't entirely platonic in nature. "I'm sure he'll be a great king, just like his papa."

Regis glowed at the praise, beaming widely as his wife took his hand and they greeted their subjects, their smiles radiant in the way only possible when their joy was genuine. The crowds cheered and Noctis fussed only a little, unhappy that his nap was interrupted by so much noise.

No one present would have even dreamed that less than a year later they would be gathered together again in a funeral procession for the very woman who had stood next to her husband so happily and introduced the world to her son on the Citadel's steps.

Regis was convinced that his wife's death was entirely his fault. Although he had followed his father's orders to withdraw and he understood that there wasn't really another option, a small part of him was still the idealistic prince who had set out on a mission for peace without bloodshed and it was ultimately that dream of peace that killed his wife.

The details surrounding Aulea's death were not released to the public for if it had it would surely would have caused a riot. Regis had arranged for her to be part of a secret convoy, leaving the safety of Insomnia's walls to meet with Queen Sylva of Tenebrae and negotiate a secret alliance between the two nations against Niflhiem. Negotiations had gone well and they had parted ways but on her way back to the Crown City the motorcade was attacked by several daemons- wiping out dozens of the Crownsguard elites and the Queen herself. The culprits behind the attack were none other than Niflhiem, hoping to stave off any detrimental alliances by sending a message, so to speak.

The news was delivered by Clarus himself and it had devastated Regis, the king crumpling to the floor in tears, clutching onto his best friend like he was a lifeline. Clarus had gently rocked him side to side, stroking his hair in a way that would have been considered romantic under any other circumstances.

As it was, there was nothing sexual about the encounter; intimacy stemming from a place of loss, not lust.

There was very little concrete evidence linking the empire to the attack but there was enough to justify a war, but with the circumstances being as they were, Regis had been advised by the council to keep the details of his wife's demise under wraps and to not retaliate against the empire.

Regis was a wreck for weeks following Aulea's death. He had meant it when he said he loved her; when she was by his side, he was better for it. She had always managed to make things seem easier with her graceful hands and catlike smile, approaching complex political problems the same way she would approach a particularly feisty fish- with quiet determination and precise maneuvers to bring the encounter to an end as efficiently as possible.

Clarus was a godsend when it came to deflecting people away from his grieving friend, protecting his privacy fiercely. Shielding the king was his job and if that meant he was shielding him from the prying eyes of Counsel members and politicians instead of attacks, then so be it.

The only solace for Regis in those days following his wife's passing were his son. Noctis, bless his heart, was still so small- so young- and now motherless, the boy instinctually clung ever tighter to his father.

Noctis looked so much like his mother, his huge blue eyes seeming wise beyond their years and able to pierce Regis' soul with just a look. Regis took to checking on his son multiple times throughout the night, just to make sure that he was still okay, running fingers through his thick black hair absently as his priorities rearranged themselves within him.

\---

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you liked this and want to read more about Clarus' relationship with his wife Lilja or if you want to see some of Aulea's envolvment in Noctis' life from beyond the grave, you can check out my other story In The Heart of The Beholder. It has a lot of the background stuff for this fic so I recommend reading it but it isn't required.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments and Kudos are the fuel that keeps me going so be sure to drop a few on your way out!


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